


different sunsets

by synically



Series: clear skies and dark clouds [3]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Parallel Universes, the long overdue part three
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synically/pseuds/synically
Summary: when the sun had permanently set and the sea had eternally stilled, the clouds found themselves drifting mindlessly across the horizon.taehyun had chased his perfect sunset,only to end up at the bottom of the river they used to pass by.until he wakes up,to a world where the sun and the sea couldn't be in perfect harmony.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Series: clear skies and dark clouds [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902490
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	1. cloudy skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii so i'm kinda back after awhile and this fic had been long overdue but i'm planning to finish this before gyu's bday so here it is !!
> 
> if you haven't read the first two parts, i suggest doing so first before proceeding here bc this is a continuation of it.
> 
> have fun :'>

"hey."

white noise. body floating on water.

"wake up."

warm air. faint smell of lavender flowers and baby powder.

"hey, wake up."

head stirring, body stretching awake.

"come on, wake up already!"

eyes fluttering open, mouth wide in a yawn.

"there you are."

red strands fluttering against the wind.

"where am i?"

"at the waiting place."

"waiting— _what?_ "

his eyes adjust to his surroundings.

a white lighthouse, reflection glowing over clear water. colorful petals scattered.

clear skies. distant dark clouds.

"what is this place?" he calls.

"i told you. it's the waiting place."

he turned his head to the voice, fully recognizing it now.

his face smiled at him, wearing a white shirt and white slacks. bare feet standing on water. and he staggers back, terrified.

the other him laughed. "why are you afraid of me? i'm literally _you_."

he looks down at himself, mirroring the image in front of him. his gears clicked in and he asks.

"am i dead?"

a sad smile was the response.

"almost."

oh.

"the waiting place is for people who still have a chance to live.

"do you remember what you did?"

a flash of it came in his vision.

he does.

jumping from the bridge they used to pass by as they walk home. when the sun wasn't shining and the sea wasn't moving.

chasing the perfect sunset at 9:13 in the evening.

sinking. drowning.

no one to save him.

"are you me?"

the other laughs again.

"yes and no."

he tilted his head in confusion.

"i'm you, but from another universe."

_a parallel_.

"why are you here? did you try to kill yourself too?"

"oh god no."

cold wind blew past.

"i'm trying hard to be alive actually."

"but?"

"my time has completely run out."

"no offense, but why are you still here then?"

he smiled sadly.

"because i still have regrets. and i can't leave if i haven't fulfilled them yet."

then he suddenly piped up.

"but you can help me now!"

"huh?"

"you're stronger than me! and you still have a chance while i don't. you'll still be able to go back to your life even after you help me."

"b-but we're from different universes. we may not be all similar. w-what if i mess it up more?"

the other smiles at him reassuringly.

"i'm sure you won't. because you're me!"

he hesitates.

"please?"

the other pleaded, reaching a hand to signify a deal.

"i promise it'll help you too."

he didn't know why but it's like his body was out of his control, and he reaches. until his warm palm touches the other's cold one.

"but what do i do? what are the regrets i need to fix?"

the other smiled at him,

"you'll know it when it comes to you.

"good luck taehyun!"

"wait—"

~

taehyun's eyes fluttered open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the white room and the light overhead making him squint. he faintly hears someone shouting as he blinks the heaviness of his eyelids away.

when his vision clears up, he sees nurses and doctors coming in, immediately checking on him.

"how are you feeling mr. kang? what's the last thing you remember?" the doctor asks.

despite his hazy mind, he tried thinking of an answer. the last thing he remembers? a dream. vague and confusing. he remembers blurs of red and ripples and flowers, he remembers talking to someone and helping them with something.

"i don't really know . . ." he answers, muffled. his breath fogged the oxygen mask on his face. "where am i?"

the doctor offered a gentle smile. "you're in seoul hospital. have been for the past half-year."

taehyun could barely process anything from the shock; the doctor's explanations getting lost in his swirling thoughts as nurses check his vitals. once they were done, they left to give him some space and to bring him some food. he was about to get back to sleep when he sees two figures sitting on the corner, quietly watching the entire exchange.

"soobin? kai?" taehyun calls, squinting. the two immediately ran to him and enveloped the boy in a tight but careful hug, and taehyun feels their hot tears staining his hospital gown.

"we thought we lost you . . ." kai murmurs, taehyun's heart ached at the weak voice.

"what happened to me?" taehyun asks, blissfully unaware.

"you don't remember?" soobin asked back, pulling away but still holding on the younger boy's shoulder. his eyes were glistening with both relief and worry.

taehyun reluctantly shook his head as a response.

the two looked at each other before sitting on either side of taehyun on the bed, contemplating whether they would tell or not. 

it was soobin who spoke first, "i think it's better if you don't remember for now and just focus on recovering. you've been through a lot hyun."

despite the overflowing curiosity in his veins, taehyun obeyed, leaning back to rest on the bed. that's when he fully sees his state: his arms had casts that still look new, there's a bandage around his head, a dextrose injected on his left hand, and a life support system connected to the mask on his face. he suddenly wondered what happened to him for him to end up in such a condition.

the day came by in a blur of tests and white walls. it was a weird feeling; normally, people hated the dull color of the hospital, but not taehyun. something in him tells him that this place had some sort of importance, but _what_?

his head ached trying to remember, until he eventually fell asleep, his heart heavy like its sinking to the ocean floor.

sinking. drowning. no one to save him.

when taehyun wakes up the next morning, the feeling of something missing was still there, making a home in his chest as he looks out of the window.

the sky was full of clouds.

it was gloomy, and cold. and the lack of warmth was starting to bite at his skin. taehyun felt restless; something at the back of his mind was bothering him, and something short of panic was starting to crawl to the surface. but before the unknown anxiety reached him, the door opened and revealed his friends, accompanied by a nurse on her morning rounds. as she checked his improved vitals, he asked if he can take a warm shower, to ease his raging thoughts and appease his panicking body. and thankfully, he was allowed to do so.

taehyun relaxes as warm water touched his bare skin, caressing his dozens of scars; but the feeling of something missing still resides in his heart. the hot shower helped calm his being, but memories of cuddles and night walks flashed in his mind; then of coffee and tea dates, of warm and calm presence.

he shuts the water off.

_what is he missing?_

he was about to step back into the room when he hears voices, faint enough to not let anyone else hear, but taehyun's senses enhanced at the seemingly confidential topic between his friends.

"should we tell beomgyu and yeonjun?" kai's voice asked.

tensed silence followed.

taehyun's eyes widened as he froze on his place by the door.

it wasn't a what-question, it was a _who_.

_beomgyu_ . . . _yeonjun_ . . . 

his heart pounded painfully in his chest. a vision of a car crash flashed before his eyes and a beeping green line echoed in his ears. he clutched on his head.

_they're_ . . . _alive_?

"i don't know." soobin's voice answered, "both of them are not exactly what taehyun needs right now."

a chill went through taehyun's spine and tears prickled his eyes. _what does soobin mean?_

"but don't they deserve to know, at least?" kai questioned again, not liking soobin's idea of keeping this a secret.

they went quiet again. taehyun wanted to hear soobin's response, but instead, he hears footsteps inside the room. he quickly schooled his expression and pushed the door open, entering with a downcast look on his face and pretending he didn't just eavesdrop on the two boy's conversation. like taehyun had thought, soobin was standing and moving to proceed to the door, as if he had sensed the red-haired boy's presence.

"hey hyung." he greets, wearing a pair of silk pajamas. "is my food here already?"

soobin's face morphed into an easy smile, but there was an underlying emotion in his eyes. "yeah, hyun. it's on the bed."

taehyun grimaces at the sight of obviously bland food and his two friends see it, understanding the sentiment.

"we'll order food then!" kai offers. taehyun's face lighten up, and he tried to brush his confusion aside.

as soon as they finished eating, with taehyun trying hard to control his raging thoughts while he converse with his friends, soobin and kai then decided to give him some space, promising to visit him again tomorrow. and when they leave . . .

the dam taehyun had been trying to hold back burst and his tears endlessly flow from his eyes. his heart painfully squeezed in his chest and he let out muffled sobs. shaking. trembling.

_remembering_.

he remembers the accident that killed beomgyu;

the heart attack that killed yeonjun.

he remembers standing on a bridge, jumping, plunging to his death.

he remembers sinking into the cold and dark river;

and standing on a warm and clear lake.

taehyun stops crying.

he remembers the dream.

_is he really in a parallel universe?_

there's only one way to find out.

~

taehyun takes a deep breath as he stood in front of the gates of the university his parallel was attending in. the cold summer wind brushed past his figure, like a silent assurance. and he was nervous; it was as if his first time getting to see his crush.

does the beomgyu here like music too? does the yeonjun here like to dance too? are they still his sun and sea? are they still the perfect sunset taehyun thought they'd be?

hope started to fill his heart, the longing for his two lovers was achingly bittersweet. he still finds the whole situation absurd, but after his whole night of overthinking, the parallel universe theory was the only plausible thing to believe in.

of course; how could he believe that his boyfriends were still alive when their deaths are the cause of his suicide?

but one request from the nurse, one peek at his visitor's logbook, one recall of hueningkai's and soobin's words, and it's like his world crashed and rebuilt itself in a heartbeat.

there it was, clear as day; _beomgyu_ and _yeonjun_ written on the logbook, visited on different days for the past six months.

separately. never together.

taehyun didn't know if he was also dating the two in this universe. but it's okay, right? what he doesn't know won't kill him, _right_?

but it was why he begged to be let out despite protests from the doctors and his friends. he needed to find out himself. asking soobin and kai would be a worthless attempt because it was obvious that his two friends didn't want to open up the topic, judging from how many times taehyun had asked whenever they visit. it seemed like they were trying to protect taehyun from _something_. but taehyun didn't need protection; he needed information.

so with a promise that he will take care of himself, that he would come back for a proper recovery (which was suspicious, kai thinks), they eventually let him. pitying the young boy who was stuck in life-support with little memory about his _accident_. he didn't even bother to know the details of his release, but he thinks his results were good enough for his request was granted.

taehyun wanted to see beomgyu and yeonjun again. however painful, he would endure. he will take anything to see them once more, even if it's in a different universe.

"are you okay, tae?" soobin asks worriedly from beside him, patiently waiting for the red-haired boy to gather himself.

"we can just go home so you can rest more." kai adds, his hand holding soobin's.

he shakes his head, grateful for their concern. but, "no, i can manage. i'll be fine." taehyun said.

it was fascinating, if he was being honest. his parallel had the same name, the same hair color, the same college major on his school identification. taehyun had always thought his parallel would be near opposite, or that there would be a slight difference like with soobin's sternness and kai's composed personality, but everything about him was still like _him_. he almost doubt that this was another universe, but at the sight of the university covered in vines and greenery (which was a complete contrast to his universe's campus of clean buildings and lack of trees), he set those thoughts aside.

walking through the dimmed pathway of trees, taehyun's heart started to pound loudly. bells chimed in his head. and he halts in his steps when he saw _him_.

a few meters away, yeonjun stood frozen, feline eyes widely staring at him. taehyun's breath stuttered and tears pricked his eyes because there he was, breathing and alive.

he smiled as he took a step forward to the older male. but then he was pulled by someone and suddenly, he was engulfed in a hug.

taehyun didn't need to see who it was; just the feeling of warmth and the smell of lavender was enough to let him know that it was his first love. he instantly melts in beomgyu's arms, but before he could hug the older back, beomgyu was yanked away and pushed to the ground.

"get the fucking hell away from him!" yeonjun growled, pulling taehyun to stand behind him.

that was a shock for taehyun. the moment of happiness was quickly replaced with confusion. yeonjun, his sweet and calm boyfriend, angrily pushing _their_ first love to the dirt. beomgyu scoffed at the action and taehyun could see the anger bubbling in his expressive orbs. 

beomgyu stood up, dusting off his pants as he glares at the older, who was glaring back with as much intensity. taehyun could feel his heart quaking at the sight.

"no, _you_ get the fucking hell away from him!" beomgyu hissed, pushing yeonjun aside and pulling taehyun back.

yeonjun catches his footing and swerves to land a punch on beomgyu's cheek, sending the younger back to the ground. he then grabbed taehyun's hand and was about to run away when beomgyu quickly got up and pounced on the older, sending yeonjun on his back with beomgyu on top of him and landing punches on his face.

the two brawled, grunts and hisses only being heard as they wordlessly thrash on each other around the pathway, tons of students watching and others calling the guards. even without the exchange of insults and curses, anyone with sight could see how much they seethed; the angry glares and hard punches enough evidence. soobin and kai didn't even try to stop them, only pulled taehyun away as he watched helplessly, his heart hurting ten times more than before.

taehyun can't believe he had woken up in a universe where beomgyu and yeonjun hate each other.

~

"just stay in here until either one of us pick you up. we can't let you go to your classes because beomgyu or yeonjun will surely bother you. no one is allowed to come here anyway so you'll be safe here. do you understand taehyun?" soobin reminds him, his tone strict and final that left taehyun no choice but to obey. seeing this side of him made him realize that this really was an alternate universe, for the soobin back in his world would never speak like this.

responding with a mute nod, his two friends left him in the student council meeting room, along with some of his missed school works soobin managed to get a copy of. there really was no other people here and the door was locked from the inside, the older carrying the key with him.

taehyun sighs, looking at the notes and realizing that he knows most of the stuff already. he placed it inside 'his' bag when he decided to look into it, searching for some clues that could help him for his _mission_? he fully remembers the dream now, and since he's here anyway, why not give it a try? surely he'll get some answers.

he flips into his notebooks, recalling the lessons in his own university written in his familiar handwriting. then he looks through his wallet, finding bundles of cash and cards. it wasn't much different from his own, but this was a lot more in comparison. there's a photo displayed inside of the three of them in what seemed to be a club; taehyun's arms wrapped around the two older boys and they have this drunk look on their faces. 

lastly, taehyun took the phone out. upon turning the screen on, he was greeted by a picture of the three of them in the lockscreen. it was on a beach; the colors of the sunset painted on their smiling faces. beomgyu has an arm wrapped around his waist, and yeonjun's was on his shoulder. although taehyun could see that they were exactly what his _actual_ boyfriends look like, there was something about their aura that screams they were different. even from his own face.

a passcode was required in opening the phone, and taehyun freaks out having no idea on what it could be.

his birthday? wrong.

uh, beomgyu's birthday? wrong.

so, yeonjun's? wrong.

their birthdays together? not even close.

only one left before the phone locks. taehyun rakes his fingers through his strands. _that_ couldn't be it, right?

he enters the combination.

it opened.

taehyun was surprised. he closed the device again and entered the same combination. it worked again.

_oh, so our anniversaries are the same_ . . .

deciding to investigate further, taehyun finds himself scrolling through the dozens of pictures in the gallery. he sees a mirror selfie of himself in a crop top and he malfunctions. and it wasn't just one; taehyun wonders where he could've gotten the confidence to dress that way when he panics over a slight showcase of skin. it was followed by a photo of them three, all in crop tops and taehyun gapes at the sight. beomgyu and yeonjun looks incredible in them, he admits.

looking at more photos, taehyun concludes that they were indeed different people. although they wear the same handsome faces, it wasn't his boyfriends. his boyfriends wouldn't go on clubs almost every other night and take pictures of each other making out; his boyfriends wouldn't film themselves breaking university rules and vandalising on parks. he and his boyfriends weren't troublemakers like the boys in the photos were.

and at this point, he doesn't know what to do. why was he here in the first place? why did he even agree to that dumb deal? he wants to see them again, that's for sure, but taehyun is not certain if he wants to see them in _this_ kind of light.

oh just how much the climates have changed.

they weren't his sun and sea _at all_.


	2. climate change

taehyun laid in hueningkai's bed that night, the owner rooming in with his boyfriend instead in their shared apartment. wide awake, he can't help but think of the two boys earlier. as he stare at their picture in the lockscreen of his phone, taehyun can't help but wonder what went wrong.

beomgyu and yeonjun looked so in love with each other; the sun and the sea in perfect harmony. what had possibly ruined that relationship? does it have anything to do with him? with his accident? taehyun wanted to know.

if only soobin and kai told him everything; if only his friends didn't barricade him as they walked out of campus; if only he noticed the longing gazes of his two lovers.

the phone lights up in his hands; a series of messages flooding in. both from yeonjun and beomgyu. it seemed like the two couldn't sleep as well. but taehyun only looks at it; a hand over his mouth as he stifles the sobs racking through his body at the contents. he couldn't reply — couldn't even form a coherent response to the string of words; bittersweet, desperate, yearning. as if the two boys were making sure that the taehyun they saw wasn't just a figment of their imagination from how much they missed him.

his blurry gaze lands on the pair of bracelets on his wrist — one black and white, the other orange, pink, and blue. he remembers the boys that gave them; remembers the meanings behind the gift — _that even if the whole world is against him, he's not facing them alone. he has them._

and maybe that was the wake-up call; that even if he was now in a parallel world, even with his only friends holding him back, he still have them. they were still there; waiting, pleading, hoping. taehyun never lost them here.

he's not going to let himself lose them twice.

even in a different universe.

so when he caught sight of him the next morning, he didn't miss a single beat and ran towards the half of his heart; pushing pass the two taller boys before they could shield him again.

beomgyu stood outside the building of soobin and kai's shared apartment, hands in the front pockets of his pants and a square gauze on his cheek. he was leaning on the wall when their eyes met, and taehyun didn't need any more words; his heart pulling him to one of its owners.

taehyun wraps his arms around beomgyu's shoulders, and the latter automatically wraps his on the former's waist, a relieved sigh leaving his lips that taehyun didn't fail to hear. he tightened his hold on the boy when he feels large hands on his shoulder (clearly soobin's) about to pry him away, and he felt beomgyu doing the same.

"go on ahead hyung. i'll walk with beomgyu." he said, not even turning to look at his blue-haired friend.

"but—"

"you heard him. he's walking with _me_." beomgyu cuts him off. taehyun didn't have to look at him to hear the smirk in his voice. the raven-haired boy regards his old friend with a smug look as he pulls taehyun impossibly closer to him, hands possessive on the small of taehyun's back.

the blatant disrespect irked soobin. but before he could argue, his boyfriend was already pulling him to the direction of their university. with kai being stronger than him, soobin could only look back and shoot a glare so lethal beomgyu could've had a hole through his skull.

with the two boys gone, beomgyu proceeded to nuzzle on taehyun's shoulder, inhaling the sweet strawberry scent he always used.

_this_ is what taehyun missed the most — beomgyu's warmth. when his beomgyu died, both him and yeonjun were plunged in the middle of a storm; the sun was nowhere to be found, the sea was in a mess, and the clouds were in a whirl. they couldn't find a way out, and the coldness was too much for both of them to handle. until the sea stilled, and the clouds was left alone drifting mindlessly on the horizon.

"i missed you so much, tyun." beomgyu murmured in his sweater and taehyun melts, tears prickling his eyes because he missed him too. he missed him a lot.

as he inhales the comforting lavender, feels the soothing warmth, hears his favorite voice, taehyun finds himself sniffling, head buried on beomgyu's jacket. and beomgyu was surprised, taehyun _rarely_ cries.

"baby? hey, what's wrong?" beomgyu asks, slightly pulling away to cup the boy's face, worry evident in his features.

taehyun wanted to say that everything was wrong; that he's sorry for the accident, for being unable to protect yeonjun, for attempting to kill himself. taehyun wanted to say all of it. he wanted to admit that it wasn't his taehyun in his arms, that he wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. that he shouldn't be holding beomgyu so close because he would lose him and will be unable to move on — because he was _bound_ to lose him and he _should_ move on.

this isn't his world.

and his sun had already set, never to rise again.

but at the same time, taehyun wants to be selfish. the thoughts that plagued his mind last night climbing up his list of options to pick.

if he was going to lose them again, then he will prepare himself to let them go. 

as right now, when beomgyu was in front of him, warm and very much alive, taehyun would give himself the chance to be with him once more. the last chance to see his sun shining brightly again.

in this parallel universe, what could possibly go wrong?

~

taehyun hadn't thought it through. he had been too caught up in his feelings to be with beomgyu again that he almost forgot this was another world.

and whether he likes it or not, there's still a difference, however miniscule it is. with beomgyu, and with himself.

he'd notice it, of course. he had been friends with his beomgyu their whole lives and have been dating for almost a year. so he sees it; the small contrasts, little gestures that speaks a whole lot of how different his beomgyu is to the beomgyu he's with.

the older boy had managed to convince him to cut their classes for the day, in favor of catching up and hanging out in 'their' favorite mall across the city. that was the first sign as his beomgyu _never_ skips his classes, what more to invite someone as nerdy as taehyun? and that's when he also made the first mistake in his pretending;

("hyung, we have classes don't we? besides, soobin-hyung's been texting me non-stop already." taehyun reasons, feeling the constant vibrations of his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

beomgyu stares at him incredulously, "since when did you care about classes? and since when do you actually listen to what soobin says?"

"actually no i don't haha c'mon hyung, let's go already. i'm kind of hungry." he replied very awkwardly the older visibly winced at his tone.)

the two boys had spent the morning eating brunch at a café; talking, window-shopping around the mall. taehyun never failed to notice how beomgyu was beaming all day long; laughing loudly with his eyes turning crescents, toothed-smile peeking from his lips as he looks at him with all the love in the world. 

well, taehyun was his favorite company after all.

_that_ was the beomgyu taehyun had fallen in love with. the bubbly and sweet boy that brightens up the atmosphere around him with his contagious laugh and breathtaking smile. this was the sun that lightened his dark clouds and scared his demons away. the warmth he missed the most.

but just as that realization hit him, a contradiction quickly followed.

they were walking around peacefully, beomgyu's hand firm on his waist, when a man spewed homophobic comments behind them on the escalator.

"darn faggots everywhere; always blocking the way." he said, impatiently tapping his foot on the metal stairs.

taehyun gulps, anxiety rising in his system. he was just about to step down to make some space for the man but beomgyu held him still, turned around and answered back, an evil undertone in his grin and voice heavily laced with menace.

"oh yeah? imagine being homophobic in this century. couldn't be me, bastard."

and as if proving his point, beomgyu pulled taehyun closer to him and crashed his lips on the younger's. taehyun froze again at the action; but when he feels beomgyu poking his tongue on his lips, he instinctively opened his mouth and let him in. in the background, they can hear the man cursing and screaming and attempting to push pass the two boys making out, but beomgyu was firm in his stance.

the older gave one final teasing lick across taehyun's lips, very visible to anyone watching, and smirked at the old man. "liked what you saw? there's more where that came from."

fuming red, the homophobe stormed off once they've reached the platform, cursing under his breath. the people behind them were whispering, some saying that the man deserved it, others saying that the couple should've had a bit of decency. but beomgyu didn't care, laughing as he pulled taehyun to the karaoke room.

once settled inside, the events seemed to have fully sunk in taehyun's brain, and he looks up the older that was already picking a song.

"hyung, why did you do that? i could've just moved out of the way. there's like a lot of people . . ." he drones, seeing beomgyu raise an eyebrow even if he wasn't looking at him.

"it's not like it's the first time we've made out in public. what's the big deal?" beomgyu replies, nonchalant. "besides, we never let homophobes get away with their bullshit."

taehyun decides that he doesn't want to know the details to the statement.

the song started playing and the older handed the microphone to the red-head, who hesitantly accepted. are the songs here the same in our world? he wonders.

turns out, it is. and beomgyu made himself comfortable on taehyun's shoulder as he started singing. there's still an arm wrapped around his waist and his heart started hammering in his chest; he doesn't know if it's from the older boy's proximity, or from the unknown tension in the small room.

the younger boy's breath hitched when he feels beomgyu trailing wet kisses on the side of his neck. "h-hyung . . ."

"just keep singing, love." he whispers, low and husky and taehyun shudders feeling the hot breath on his skin.

his beomgyu was bold, but not to this extent, and never in a public place.

he tries to continue singing, his voice coming out shaky. and he shrieks into the mic when beomgyu licks a stripe to his ear.

beomgyu pulled away, confused. "babe why are you so stiff? we do this every time."

"w-we do?" taehyun couldn't help but ask, wondering just how shameless he is in this world. upon seeing beomgyu's questioning gaze, "i-i kind of forgot since you know— the accident."

a flash of guilt grazed the older boy's orbs at the mention of the accident, so he quickly shrugs the topic off, and schooled a mischievous grin as he leans into taehyun's ear.

"no worries. i can always make you remember." he says. taehyun shudders at beomgyu's seductive tone, and he surpresses a yelp when he was pulled onto the older boy's lap. "ssh. continue singing baby, you know i love to hear your voice." he guided the mic back to taehyun's face and gave a wink, then proceeded to do his business on taehyun's neck.

taehyun tried his best to sing, messing up the lyrics sometimes because his back was facing the screen, and the sensation flowing in his body isn't really helping. he feels hotter as beomgyu sucks a mark under his ear. and a light moan escapes his mouth, making the older smirk against his skin and bite it with more pressure.

the next lyrics sounded whiny and the raven-haired boy pulls him down to connect their lips. this beomgyu was a much better kisser than his late lover (not that he wasn't good, but this one clearly has more experience), and taehyun easily gets lost in their kiss, bodies pressed close and the song forgotten in the background. he wakes up in his trance when he feels beomgyu's warm palms under his sweater, feeling every expanse of his skin and taehyun pulls away with a gasp.

"what now?" the annoyance is evident in beomgyu's voice for being interrupted a second time, and his grip on taehyun's ribs tightened when he tried squirming off. "what is wrong with you? why are you acting like you're not the biggest fan of showing off?"

the younger flushed red at the implication, the thoughts of being slightly similar with his parallel completely disappearing in his mind. because _why_ the hell would he like pdas when he easily panics being surrounded by a crowd of strangers.

"h-hyung— please, i'm still r-recovering." he tried to reason, hoping that beomgyu would just drop it off.

beomgyu inspects him for a good few seconds before sighing in defeat. sure, he's confused as heck, but he didn't want to force the boy he loves into something he didn't want to do.

"fine. what do you want to do then?"

~

pulling the older outside the glass doors of the viewing platform, a warm breeze blew through their figures and taehyun feels nostalgic. this time of the day — the blue hour — would always have a special place in his heart; he will always remember the way beomgyu held him at the rooftop back in his universe, and the way yeonjun comforted him in that same place. he remembers watching the sunsets on the bridge every day on their walk home, the warm orange glow of the sun and the calming blue of the sea; the hands that held both of his and the presence that he desperately miss.

the sunset will always remind him of what he lost; the two boys that hold each half of his heart. and it's bittersweet looking at it like this, knowing he could never reach them again. not in his world.

taehyun doesn't know if he still likes the sunset. 

it's just not the same without them.

beomgyu pulled him closer, snapping taehyun out of his previous thoughts and giving way to new ones.

this beomgyu was hot, a different kind; his messy hair was lightly parted in the middle, eyes a darker shade, lips still glossy, top shirt buttons undone to reveal his collarbones and the necklace resting on it. and the bandage on his face add up to his badass look. 

not only was the appearance fiery, but also his attitude. taehyun had only seen him twice, but it was enough to conclude that the parallel-beomgyu was hot-headed. his touch burns in a different way, his brightness was blinding he had to squint.

he was warm; like taehyun's sun. like the sun they're watching right now, this beomgyu is warm. but it's a different kind; it's prickling and a little painful on his skin — as if the sun was still stuck at noon with its glare despite it already setting.

he's like the sun, only ten times hotter and a little uncomfortable to bear.

taehyun stared at beomgyu's face, eyes scanning each feature as if he hadn't memorized it already years ago. his hand rests above the gauze on his cheek, the purple bruising a reminder of the complicated relationship.

"does it hurt?" he asks, gently caressing.

"no. i've had much worse." beomgyu answers, eyes never leaving taehyun the moment they went up here.

a flicker of hesitation before taehyun had the courage to ask, hoping the older would give an answer.

"what happened between you and yeonjun? why are you guys fighting like this?"

beomgyu's expression darkens, and the hand on his waist twitched. taehyun regrets asking.

"i don't want to talk about him."

"but hyung—"

"no, taehyun."

he said those two words with such authority that left taehyun holding his tongue. beomgyu had never used that tone on him before, and the surprise was definitely something he didn't like.

as he looks back at the remaining sliver of the sun, his hopes slowly dissipate like its rays.

~

they were supposed to have dinner together, but beomgyu suddenly had an emergency meeting with his department head. and as much as he would love to decline, he was informed that it was urgent. with taehyun's persuasion, he dropped beomgyu off at the gates of their university before walking to his friends' apartment. only to have someone waiting for him again.

yeonjun was sat on the stairs, eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinting at the device in his hands. taehyun checked his phone and sees the multitude of messages from the three, mostly from the boy in front of him.

"jun-hyung?" he calls, heart skipping when the said boy looked up in shock, then melts in a smile upon seeing him. yeonjun quickly stood and wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug.

"you're here . . . you're really here." yeonjun murmurs, tightening his hold on the younger as if afraid that if he didn't, he'd lose him again.

"yes, hyung. i'm here." taehyun croaks, the tears welling in his eyes.

"god. i missed you so much."

and the waterworks started.

like beomgyu, yeonjun was surprised to see taehyun cry. it was a rare occurrence, one they've never quite know how to handle yet. so he opts to just rub his back and bring him all the comfort he can provide.

the encounter caught taehyun off guard; he wasn't expecting the older to be waiting for him even at this time of the early night. but here he was, still towering over him with his ever comforting presence. this time, taehyun let his tears freely fall; the sea catching every drop.

yeonjun would always have that effect on him. and taehyun's heart ached remembering his own fault. yeonjun always offered his shoulder for him to cry on, and yet he only repaid him with heartache and a white casket.

"come on, let's get back to the apartment before your friends arrive. i want to spend some time with you." he says. taehyun lets himself get tugged; the sea guiding him back home.

~

when taehyun pushes the door open, a sigh of relief escapes his lips. he was worried that this apartment would look all too similar with theirs, but it turns out it isn't.

scanning the interior, he found that there's no frames of sceneries or albums, and in its place instead are pictures — mostly of the three of them in different places — and modernistic paintings. there was also some frames with the whole group, and taehyun's mind starts to fill with thoughts.

the older male had told him to get inside first as he buys food for their dinner — because apparently, yeonjun had omitted stocking up the fridge. and taehyun had obliged despite his strong urge to throw up when they arrived in front of the same apartment complex back in his world.

he has yet to decide whether he hates all those similarities, or hate all these differences.

the apartment was more modern-ish; it lacked the artistic and homely vibe back in his own and the warmth and coziness of the atmosphere. in here, it was kind of cold and distant and plain. taehyun decided to look around as he waits; it was his parallel's home anyway.

there are also three rooms; one room almost abandoned, another unused but thoroughly kept, and another that yeonjun clearly uses. yeonjun's room was a mess; clothes and shoes scattered on the floor, some empty bottles littered along with bags of chips and video game consoles. yeonjun had been clearly busy.

the other two rooms were relatively cleaner. the seemingly abandoned one had the least items — rolls of blueprints and incomplete plates placed on the uncovered mattress, clothes rack almost empty save for a few hoodies and fur jackets, organized sets of different pens on top of a neat desk. taehyun concluded it to be his room until he sees a broken guitar on a carpeted corner, resting on a pile of pillows.

it's completely torn; half the strings were cut, the body shattered to splinters with the neck only remaining intact. a carving in between its frets — _beomgyu_ , it read.

this is beomgyu's room. and in a painfully agonizing pace, taehyun's heart slowly torn itself to pieces as he was hit with dumbfounded realization.

just how bad was the fight for beomgyu to move out of their home? a home that's filled with their memories and sheltered the two people he loved the most. how devastating was it that he even broke his own guitar? his most treasured instrument.

what had possibly ruined their perfect sunset? taehyun _badly_ wants to know.

"what are you doing here?"

taehyun stiffens from where he's crouching, a chill running down his spine at the older boy's scolding tone. there stood yeonjun at the doorway, eyes narrowed scrutinizingly and eyebrows meeting at the middle.

they were at a distance away from each other but it doesn't mean that taehyun isn't cowering from his gaze alone, shrinking on himself as if watching a tsunami about to hit the land. the comforting sea now a raging body of water.

"i-i was just—" he tries to explain, coming up short as yeonjun stomps towards him and harshly pulled him up, fingers digging into his arm.

wordlessly, yeonjun drags a stumbling taehyun back into the kitchen, where bags of take-out food are placed on the table.

the older male smiled sweetly, a complete contrast from his earlier expression as he hands taehyun the packed meal, "let's eat now baby. i got your favorite food."

as much as taehyun is wary of the sudden shift, he obliges. the smell of warm burgers wafting in the air and the sound of stomach grumbling acknowledging its presence. his cheeks flush pink in embarrassment but yeonjun only smiles at him fondly.

there was a smile on his face and a glow in his eyes as they converse while eating; the earlier events in the forbidden room pushed to the backs of their heads. taehyun found himself not minding it anyway because yeonjun was there, sitting in front of him and looking at him as if he was his favorite view.

suddenly, a gray cat jumped on the table and taehyun jerks in surprise, heart racing at the sight of the all-too familiar feline.

"amber! look who's back!" yeonjun exclaims happily, raising the cat to taehyun's face.

it was the same gray cat that crossed the street and visited the grave. the cat whose mere existence reminds him of the painful memories he wanted to forget.

the cat hissed at the red-haired boy and raised its paws. yeonjun pulled it away in alarm.

"hey! that's not nice." he scolds, putting the cat on the floor. amber hissed at taehyun again before strutting out of sight. "what has gotten into that demon cat?"

does it sense that he was a different taehyun?

"m-maybe he's just not used to me again— i mean, i was gone for a while." taehyun reasons. and when yeonjun shrugs dismissively, he sighs in relief.

how ironic it was that a factor to his boyfriends' deaths is their pet in another universe. taehyun seriously thinks that fate is toying with him.

he sees yeonjun placing a bowl of catnips on the floor, clearly a responsible owner and taehyun couldn't help but remember how the three of them planned to get a dog someday when they got a new apartment.

yeonjun was still that reliable and comforting presence — the waves that gently caress his skin and keep him afloat. he remembers the memories he had with the older; from hating him to liking him like some enemies-to-lovers trope, once upon a time fighting over the boy that they soon shared. how the older knows the food he likes, how he takes care of him in his small acts of wiping his lips or drawing circles on his knuckles, making sure he was comfortable with anything.

but taehyun had to keep noting that this is a different universe. and the sea, regardless of its serenity and calmness, is a very dangerous place.

"you weren't at school earlier. where have you been all day?" yeonjun questioned, eyes focused on him. there was an underlying emotion in his orbs that taehyun couldn't read. 

there it was again — the ugly feeling in the pits of his stomach at another reminder that this yeonjun isn't his boyfriend. he used to read them so accurately, interpreting each meaning behind every flicker of gaze and bat of eyelash.

as much as he memorized every feature of the sea, there were still depths taehyun can't swim in. the sea still holds too many mysteries taehyun would take forever to unravel.

because now, it's like meeting a stranger in the face of someone so familiar. and taehyun tried his best to ignore the ache in his heart as he considers his options.

beomgyu and yeonjun are not in the best relationship at the moment. mentioning the other might end up badly like how beomgyu reacted earlier that day. the sun hissing at the mention of its once-sanctuary. and taehyun's scared of witnessing them fight again.

should he lie? he could, but this is _yeonjun_. even with an alibi ready at the tip of his tongue, he couldn't bear lying to him. 

so he resorted in turning away, hoping that by doing so, the question would be left to dissipate in the air above them.

that's what he hoped for anyway, but not everything we ask for happens. especially in taehyun's case.

"you were with him?"

the shock must've been evident in his face. the stiffening of his body too obvious to not notice. despite not a name mentioned, taehyun knows who yeonjun was referring to. there were no other options left.

yeonjun scoffs, unamused. and taehyun gulps feeling as if the tsunami was back to swallow him whole.

"why are you surprised that i know?" he sneers, bitterness laced in every word. "i know what that asshole's marks look like, and you have a big fucking one under your ear."

taehyun's hand shot to the mark mentioned, feeling it lightly bruised and his face flushed crimson. he really walked around with a hickey on his neck and he had no clue.

across from him, yeonjun was glaring. "he couldn't even get you dinner, that prick." he grumbles.

the younger wanted to say that it wasn't like that at all, but decided against it seeing yeonjun's pissed off expression. he was embarrassed beyond belief and all words died in the confines of his mouth. 

_do they really hate each other that much?_

that thought surfaced in his mind, and worry seeped through his skin. how would he fix this mess if neither of the two wanted it? does he really want to go back in his world where there are no yeonjun and beomgyu? or could he handle staying here with the two acting like this? taehyun nervously gnawed on his lower lip, trying to stop his tears.

it's becoming too much to handle. and taehyun is not as strong as what his parallel thought him to be.

he was never strong without his sunset.

beomgyu was the warm sun, not the unbearably hot day. yeonjun was the calm sea, not the harmful cold waves. they were the blue hour in a tiring day, not the harsh storm in a quiet night.

"what the hell are you crying for this time?" yeonjun snaps when taehyun sniffs. and the latter flinched so badly — yeonjun never used that tone on him before.

"n-nothing—" he tried to answer, but yeonjun cut him off again.

"what! is that why you didn't attend school? you were busy messing around with him?" yeonjun growls, gripping on both of taehyun's shoulders and shaking the already trembling boy. "answer me, goddamn it! or did that fucker drugged you again?"

tears cascaded down his cheeks at the words, wide eyes shakily looking into yeonjun's angry ones. the calmness of the sea replaced by waves of the growing storm.

"h-hyung—"

the fingers press tighter against his shoulders. and for the first time in his entire life, he was scared of yeonjun.

"what! finally got your tongue working again or did beomgyu—"

"y-you're hurting me hyung . . ."

his voice was meek, barely inaudible but yeonjun catches it nonetheless. a wave of guilt instantly flashing on his face as he pulls his own hands away from the younger male. taehyun hugs himself then, stepping back in a defensive stance. tearful eyes meeting yeonjun's remorseful ones. 

"i'm sorry tae—"

"i . . . i don't know what's going on between you and beomgyu-hyung b-because no one's telling me anything." taehyun mutters. taking advantage of the sudden courage coursing through his veins, fueled by the look in yeonjun's face. "do you know how hard it is being kept in the dark? your _boyfriends_ fighting and you haven't had a single clue _why_?

"you said you missed me, that you're glad i'm back. but with what i'm seeing, i think i preferred more not being here and witnessing you two fight each other over me.

"was the relationship the three of us built _that_ easy for you to wreck? was everything we've been through that easy to forget? was the love we had that easy to throw away?"

yeonjun looked like he was slapped hard across the face by his words. expression morphing into one of utter shame.

at this point, taehyun was unapologetically crying. and when yeonjun didn't do so much as apologize or say another word, he only shakes his head and quickly left. the clouds drifting from the sea.

he's done.

~

that night, taehyun was standing on the bridge he jumped from, feeling nostalgic and traumatized at the same time.

he recalls all those nights they've spent watching the world sleep on this same place, all those days with their laughter harmonizing with the wind. the smiles in between and the happy tears shed.

it seems too far out of his grasp now.

taehyun thought he could do this — be in a world where the boys he loves the most are alive and well yet hating each other to their very core. it was a simple problem they could fix but he never knew seeing them this way would make it a lot difficult. and it hasn't been a day yet, for god's sake.

but his beomgyu and yeonjun _loves_ each other to death. and taehyun prefers to be with them, above any and all worlds.

as the cold breeze brush past his figure, he stares at the waters under the bridge, raging and ice-cold. tears prickled his eyes and his lips tremble at the thoughts that once again plagued his mind.

_if he jumped here, would he go back to his own universe?_

he climbs over the metal railings.

when the soles of his shoes met the rusty gratings of the bridge's framing, his legs started shaking uncontrollably. he was only watching his feet take hesitant steps towards the edge, eyes heavily focused as the rest of the world blurred.

his ears clogged, his knees jellied, his heart ached.

there's a spark of hope in his chest that's continuously igniting no matter how much he tried to extinguish it — a little ray of sunshine peeking through the dark clouds, a patch of land in the middle of the endless ocean.

they're calling for him. he hears it in his head. the owners of his heart. the reason of his sunrise and the sanctuary of his sunset.

and taehyun wants to be with them again.

with their bands of symbolic protection wrapped around his wrist, he lets himself fall. the heavy emotion in his heart acting as his gravity.

but then something flashed at the back of his irises, and suddenly the drop felt longer than it looked.

there came his memories with beomgyu and yeonjun, in motion stills and cut-off films. reminding him of each moment tucked deep into the chambers of his heart.

his childhood with beomgyu. falling in love with his best friend. his jealousy over yeonjun. falling in love with his rival. that first summer they spent together back in their hometown — awkward yet already perfect.

walking with beomgyu to the cafeteria. yeonjun buying him a meal. beomgyu on the rooftop. yeonjun on the bridge.

the yellow sun in the middle of his canvas. the blue sea hugging the ball of gold.

his confession. their kiss. his broken heart. the ones who fixed it.

the purple clouds watching from afar. once unneeded, undeserving, and unloved.

until the sun and the sea proved otherwise.

he's the sun's favorite company. he's the sea's favorite view.

and they called for him even at the last moments of their lives. a silent plea, a hidden apology. an unsaid prayer on the tips of their tongues.

a prayer strong enough to give the boy another chance at life. a prayer uttered by two souls who lost their lives too early.

that taehyun, the half of their heart left behind, would continue to live. even without them. even after losing both of his halves. however selfish and painful it'll be.

taehyun plunges into the deep and dark river and sank to the bottom.

he finds it unfair. how can they seriously think that he will be able to live without his reason and sanctuary? without the warmth and comfort?

how can they wish for something so selfless yet so selfish at the same time?

then the spark in his heart burned bigger, brighter. a memory coming to life — the unbearable warmth, the short-lived comfort. the two boys yearning for him as much as he's yearning for their parallels.

his closure.

_fix them_. his own voice echoed.

without the company, the sun is lonely.

without the view, the sea is lost.

_they need you_. it whispers.

without the clouds, they aren't the perfect sunset.

taehyun kicked his legs awake.

tears mingling with the fresh water and lungs stinging for air, he tries swimming upwards. his lithe body convulsing from the harsh currents waving him side to side.

he can't find the surface, can't see anything. his eyes aching and heart racing.

just as his eyes roll to the back of his head, just as the last breath left his mouth, a pair of hands grabbed both his arms and he was pulled up.

~

the moment taehyun stormed out of their shared apartment, yeonjun knew he had fucked up.

for the second time. towards another boy he loves with all his broken heart.

he stood there motionless, shocked to the bones at taehyun lashing out to his face. taehyun never raised his voice — no matter how angry he was, he always chose to be silent. in their trio of troublemakers, taehyun is the closest to sanity and quietness. and hearing him say all those words were like a bucket of ice-cold water spilled on the top of his head.

something in him reincarnated.

grabbing his thick jacket, yeonjun rushed out into the cold night. not wanting to make the same mistake again.

hearing the dial tone for the umpteenth time already, yeonjun doesn't stop roaming the streets in search for taehyun. even resorting to calling his old friends, who didn't have any idea where the younger was the whole day and got frantic over his news.

yeonjun didn't know what it was. but there was dread resting on his gut that he knows would be resolved if he saw taehyun again. even just a glimpse, even just a shadow.

frustrated, he looks down at the screen of his phone. worried text messages from soobin and hueningkai grazing his screen.

and behind the list of notifications is his beomgyu and taehyun, pretty and smiling at his camera. his perfect sky — before he was swallowed by the black canvas of the night.

before he knew it, he was already sprinting to beomgyu's apartment.

yes, despite fighting and breaking up, yeonjun always kept his tabs on beomgyu. never wanting to be outdated with his life amidst the huge distance uncomfortably settled between them. anger and demise mixing with loneliness and yearning at each stolen glance.

like right now, beomgyu stood in front of him as he heave for air. still ethereal under the faint light of the lamppost a couple of meters away. his ex-boyfriend looked surprised seeing him here, confused as to how yeonjun knew where he lives, when frankly both of them should've stopped caring long ago.

they should've . . . because it was painful longing for the past you love than moving forward without them.

and yet they both know it. deep in their hearts they knew what they wanted. what they _still_ needed. but they chose to yearn in silence; the future without one another downright unthinkable.

how masochistic it was, but it kept them going.

despite the temptation to ask, beomgyu turns away and takes a step towards his door. not wanting to see his other broken half.

"beomgyu."

but one word from yeonjun makes all the walls he put crumble down. he's glad his back was now facing yeonjun. beomgyu didn't want him to see how damaged he really was under the mask of hate.

"i have nothing to say to you yeonjun."

not even a step further when yeonjun draped himself over his back, arms around beomgyu's midsection and forehead resting on the latter's shoulder. beomgyu shivered at the touch, and was about to push him away when he felt droplets staining his shirt. his heart stuttered. yeonjun _never_ cries.

"please . . ." yeonjun whispered, not even hiding how desperate he sound.

he didn't know exactly what he was asking for. forgiveness? help? most likely both. nonetheless, his tone further broke the pieces of beomgyu's heart, the ones he tries to remain intact.

how pathetic it was to still crave for his presence even after everything that happened.

"even if it's not for me, but for taehyun, please." the older male sniffed. "please gy—"

"what did you do?" beomgyu twirls, disbelief written across his face at yeonjun's words. unable to stop himself, beomgyu grabbed yeonjun's collars and pulled him closer. "what the hell did you do!"

"i-i— i hurt him— but i didn't mean to! i was just mad and scared and— he ran away— and not even soobin and kai knows where he is—" beomgyu pushed him away and yeonjun staggered back a few feet. "i'm sorry beomgyu! i'm so fucking sorry."

at this point beomgyu was glaring at him, his heart aching at the sight of yeonjun sobbing, his mind running for ideas on where he could find taehyun. the dilemma between his pride and his love crushing him with its weight. and he's not strong enough for either of it.

"fucking hell—" before beomgyu could finish his curse, yeonjun engulfed him in a longing hug. both of them didn't want to admit how much they missed being close like this.

"b-beomgyu . . ." the older murmurs, trembling. beomgyu fought the urge to hug him back. "please help me . . . for taehyun please.

"i lost you already, i don't want to lose him too. not again."

their skies were slowly crashing down on them at yeonjun's heartfelt words. and the last ones completely broke beomgyu.

"i need you, cub. we both do."

. . . 

"taehyun!" the two of them screamed, dashing to the spot on the bridge from where taehyun jumped.

they were running around for a while, deducing any and all possible places taehyun goes to when he wanted to be alone; the café they had their first date in, some pubs they used to go to, parks they've frequently visited.

and just as their legs were about to give up from the strain, the answer came like a rushing truck. and with every ounce of strength and will, they proceeded to the bridge they usually watch the sunset from.

the two of them saw him climb the railings as they got on the bridge. they yelled for his name but taehyun couldn't hear a thing.

and when they got at the midpoint, all they saw were bubbles at the river underneath them. fear enveloped them in waves — the thought of losing taehyun right in front of their eyes again was something they couldn't— _wouldn't_ let happen a second time. 

beomgyu climbed, yeonjun followed. the wind blew harshly and tousled their hair. their devices left over taehyun's bag on the flooring.

beomgyu's steps were sure, determined to do the right thing this time. yeonjun was a little hesitant, afraid of the greater chance they wouldn't survive as he stares at the river a few yards down.

but then, warmth was wrapped around his hand and he looks up to see beomgyu smiling at him, apologetic and regretful. traces of trust present too. and yeonjun calms, mirroring the expression.

no other words were needed, no other actions spoke louder than the silent communication of their hearts.

and with hands intertwined, they followed the clouds.

wherever he would go.


End file.
